I am a short tempered person. Get angry at the drop of pin and I am quite ashamed of it. Once its your character, you cant change anything abt it, can you? Yes.. how much ever I try, I just cant change my attitude over some things. If I try hard to show a smiley face when I am angry, I see that all the anger bounces fast with much more force. No better then!
By God's grace, S is the most cool headed guy. Never ever raises his voice, forget the temper! I know why my marriage has survived for this long (10 months) with no major breakdowns. I can positively say that we have not had a major fight till now (kaala tikka moment I say!) though we argue on silly things, now thats what makes the relationship going right.. If I lose my temper and shout at S, he remains calm - mostly silent or giving me a simple answer. Once I am down, we sort the things out. I make a point to tell him all about the situation that made me go angry and gain he listens patiently. We try to avoid that kind of situation in future and that works! Another point is - he can forget anything easily. I am the type who remembers everything. That way, he forgets everything that happens while I remember the slightest detail of what color dress I/ He were wearing when what happened etc.. I can only try again - but this is another character of mine, I cant stop doing it. Ok Ok, now coming to the title of the post. Had a big breakdown in home yesterday which I dont want to miss taking note here -for I should never do it again in my life - I am so unhappy with myself!
I come back home from a stressed out day at work, feeling hungry with sudden rise in temp. My body is aching - every joint is painful when moved. I was lying on the sofa for sometime before deciding on the dinner. Pizza we thought for the night - the one baked in the new OTG. After cutting the veggies and preparing the pizzas, I am worn out fully that I went back to sofa. S was taking care of them - One turned to be a bit dark underneath. By the time, it was brought to me I was very hungry I started to eat it. S warned me not to eat that and we both would share the other good one. I was hungry beyond listening that I kept eating and he kept warning me to put that down. Now - if somebody messes up with my food or the way I eat, I get pissed off. I was flaring with anger that I had put the pizza back on the table. S, finally relieved to see me put off the pizza said - good if you dont eat this, we can make some dosas. At this moment I dont know what went into me - I was so angry that I pushed the table apart so hard that, both the pizzas fell upside down on the floor (including the good one)- made a huge noise from other items falling down. I was silent. S went ahead to clean everything - without uttering a word. Cleared the table and prepared dosa for both of us and shove it to me. All the while - I couldnt bring myself to do nothing but cry - I was more than ashamed of my behaviour. How could I do that and how could he not scold me or slap me for what I did? After all, I threw the food! which is so mean. Furthermore dint help him. He came to me, said these words - "Neeye thalli vitte, ippo neeye alara.." Yes.. I know my mistake. I was so hungry but couldnt touch the food. He took a piece of dosa and put it in my mouth. I couldnt help but cry more. I cant do this to a person who is so good. I uickly ate my dosas, laid down on his lap. Looked into his eyes with my teary eyes and asked sorry. He didnt seem to bother. Not that, he dint bother abt my sorry - he dint bother abt my bad behaviour, so that sorry was meaningless to him! Later in a comical tone - he came to me and said, "Unnai...... Vittuten... En na.... Vittuten.. Po" In Ajith or Rajini style I dont remember. I could smile happily after all! I am blessed to get this best half who is way beyond understanding me..:)
By God's grace, S is the most cool headed guy. Never ever raises his voice, forget the temper! I know why my marriage has survived for this long (10 months) with no major breakdowns. I can positively say that we have not had a major fight till now (kaala tikka moment I say!) though we argue on silly things, now thats what makes the relationship going right.. If I lose my temper and shout at S, he remains calm - mostly silent or giving me a simple answer. Once I am down, we sort the things out. I make a point to tell him all about the situation that made me go angry and gain he listens patiently. We try to avoid that kind of situation in future and that works! Another point is - he can forget anything easily. I am the type who remembers everything. That way, he forgets everything that happens while I remember the slightest detail of what color dress I/ He were wearing when what happened etc.. I can only try again - but this is another character of mine, I cant stop doing it. Ok Ok, now coming to the title of the post. Had a big breakdown in home yesterday which I dont want to miss taking note here -for I should never do it again in my life - I am so unhappy with myself!
I come back home from a stressed out day at work, feeling hungry with sudden rise in temp. My body is aching - every joint is painful when moved. I was lying on the sofa for sometime before deciding on the dinner. Pizza we thought for the night - the one baked in the new OTG. After cutting the veggies and preparing the pizzas, I am worn out fully that I went back to sofa. S was taking care of them - One turned to be a bit dark underneath. By the time, it was brought to me I was very hungry I started to eat it. S warned me not to eat that and we both would share the other good one. I was hungry beyond listening that I kept eating and he kept warning me to put that down. Now - if somebody messes up with my food or the way I eat, I get pissed off. I was flaring with anger that I had put the pizza back on the table. S, finally relieved to see me put off the pizza said - good if you dont eat this, we can make some dosas. At this moment I dont know what went into me - I was so angry that I pushed the table apart so hard that, both the pizzas fell upside down on the floor (including the good one)- made a huge noise from other items falling down. I was silent. S went ahead to clean everything - without uttering a word. Cleared the table and prepared dosa for both of us and shove it to me. All the while - I couldnt bring myself to do nothing but cry - I was more than ashamed of my behaviour. How could I do that and how could he not scold me or slap me for what I did? After all, I threw the food! which is so mean. Furthermore dint help him. He came to me, said these words - "Neeye thalli vitte, ippo neeye alara.." Yes.. I know my mistake. I was so hungry but couldnt touch the food. He took a piece of dosa and put it in my mouth. I couldnt help but cry more. I cant do this to a person who is so good. I uickly ate my dosas, laid down on his lap. Looked into his eyes with my teary eyes and asked sorry. He didnt seem to bother. Not that, he dint bother abt my sorry - he dint bother abt my bad behaviour, so that sorry was meaningless to him! Later in a comical tone - he came to me and said, "Unnai...... Vittuten... En na.... Vittuten.. Po" In Ajith or Rajini style I dont remember. I could smile happily after all! I am blessed to get this best half who is way beyond understanding me..:)
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