Thursday, November 3

The PURRFECCT MIL!

is what I have got. She is like the dream MIL of every woman. Actually its not right to call her an MIL for all that she does to me. Some of the instances first before going into details.

She doesn't prompt me with one single work at house! Yes, there I said it. She tries her maximum possible to make me feel comfortable there, making it much like my home. It might sound exaggerated if I say she puts & fills hot water before my bath and get clothes from me to put into the washing machine after my bath - its true! Thats how she pampers me.

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I am always treated with special care. She prepares the food and serves me heartily. While everyone is standing, she offers me to sit :) I get the newspaper to my hand and she further more switches on the light and fan!

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Most importantly she treats me equal to her son. When S is not around, I take charge sometimes and advice my SILs if there's something wrong . She is in full support for that. It takes only a minute to throw you off by asking you to mind your own business but she never does it.

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I found this part much more touching. As my mom would do, my MIL also shares most of her thoughts with me. I am damn sure I know much of the family affairs than S. This shows the trust she has on me, she believes me and has given a high rank for me. There is a huge rapport but only in 8 months!

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Basically she is very kind by heart and doesn't even have negative thoughts or anger towards anyone. May be that's the reason why she readily gave in too many of her cooking utensils while we were setting up the house here in Bangalore. I know a whole lot of people who are possessive about their kitchen (as if thats the restricted area only for the MIL) and feel conquered if DIL succeeds in making good food. But here its quite opposite. She is very helpful and accommodating to whatever I tell her while cooking and lets me take over kitchen fully!

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Once she had prepared a drum full of murukku as we were visiting them after a 3 week break! Just for us and sent us back with loads of snacks, trying to make sure we are not starving here.

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Right from the beginning, she has been supporting me much more than she would take the sides of S. One day, I complained to her that S is not eating properly and resists everything. To which she told S - "Why are you doing like this? She is also a fellow human being and she gets up early only to prepare food for you. Not so nice of you to behave like this." I was totally impressed!!

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Every now and then, she suggests that I should stop cooking in the mornings and sleep for some more while. When I say, it gets tough for S also to eat in office everyday she exclaims - "let him eat that only. you dont strain yourself". Enjoying this for sometime, I told her the truth - its me who cant take outside food and thus I end up cooking up everyday if not for S alone :) She could accept then.

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Remember the times I had been on bed rest for a week with S doing all the chores at home? She doesnt know all those details and thought I was the one struggling with pain as well as household work. She asked me to delegate some work to S and then later told her son to take up everything! (not knowing the truth though :)

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There is literally no fuss or scene being created for the frequent number of times my parents visit me or I visit them. I actually see that she cares for them too and insists S to be present whenever there is a need. This might sound simple/easy. But I know so many of friends still struggling very hard to get just one hour of their parents presence. This is like a blessing showered up on me!

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She is one gem of the character. There are umpteen number of things one can learn from her. The confidence, determination, loving nature, selflessness, open heartedness, respect for husband/elders and the care she takes for everyone at home.

There are definitely some things that I will be thrusted upon every time I visit there. Flowers are a must and she spends how much ever it might take to get just one molam of flowers for me. Initially I was getting uncomfortable since its been forced. I have slowly learnt to understand her love behind it and dont whine any more. Salwars with duppatta properly put is another thing - this is agreeable and I do it for my respect. Too much food in the name of love - cant help but slowly eat everything even if it takes an hour or so :)

Everything of this might sound normal or usual for one in married life. Its special for me. Its different in my case where I have had inter caste and inter state marriage. For all the love and affection she shows me, I started calling her - "amma" from day-1 and still continue to do it! Mom and Daughter relationship starts from the roots, there is only LOVE and there is no stopping back. One for the MIL and DIL starts only after a mother losing her son to a daughter who seems to have won half of the battle by marrying him, there is definitely love but there is possessiveness, authority, domination, ego and selfishness and it takes a lot of care and effort to build it up into flowering blossoms. I am happy beyond bounds that we both have achieved this much easily.

I hope this post doesn't jinx anything at home. But to chase away evil eyes, below is the Anti Jinxing mantra.... :) :) :)

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