Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts

Monday, February 6

A Message to some people around me...

Sometimes life seems tough to live with these kind of people around. Who are these really? - The ones who cant get themselves a better life instead of poking their long nose into someone else's life. Looks like its that time where my life seems to be the very business for some people. I want to pass on a message to all those to whom I can't give a direct bark!! Yes, a bark really! I wouldn't mind a bite too!

@ all the oh-so-relatives of mine - I am still living with my hubby with no fights/arguments/hits so far. Just that I had love marriage (and my parents are supportive) doesn't mean that I should fail as you expect me. I am not a loser. And one more clarification - I would be working not bcos S supports me, but cos I want to and I am passionate about my job & life. You dont have to draw unnecessary conclusions with my life.

@ that distant cousin of mine- Just bcos I am the only one in the entire family to have married out of caste, you dont have to spend a fair amt of your time publicizing this fact. I hope no one is interested to know this. Having a love marriage doesnt mean that all I do everyday is to sing duets with S around the trees/ making love. Your meaning of love is not even close to what we both feel. So, please shut-up and mind your work.

@ that horrifying aunt of mine - My parents are not into a competition called marriage. If your daughter who is older than me by 2 years doesn't get a match while I am happily married, dont burn your stomach. No one is comparing anything here. Its you committing a self damage. Dont rush into everything and spoil your daughter's life. And one more thing - you dont have to randomly advice me to plan for babies sooner. You even went a step ahead by giving me a super plan of leaving my baby with my parents in Chennai while I continue to work in Bangalore when I was not even ready to listen to you. If possible, test proof this with your daughter before advising me.

@ that irritating team mate - I am very much vulnerable to common cold. Couple that with an asthma attack, I cant get up for a day or two. Given the cold climate of Bangalore, I tend to fall sick often. Just because I am married and had been taking 2 sick leaves from January doesnt qualify me "to be expecting". When that case comes, I will declare it to the whole world ok. Please, Oh please till then dont bombard me with these questions often. You being a guy working in Malaysia doesnt quality that you can talk any rubbish to me. I am reaching my peak and soon your case will be escalated.

@ that maid, K aunty (At Mom's Place)- You dont have to hit the panic button every time you see me coming  home/staying alone. I and S are very much at peace and have no problems. :) You have to understand that S has some tasks to complete and I cant tail him everywhere he goes or vice versa.

@ that mom-of-my-classmate (aunty) - You have to understand that I am not as practised as you are when it comes to walking comfortably with silk saree, that too on a really hot afternoon waiting for a bus after a heavy meal at wedding. A simple act of me clutching the pallu of my saree tightly againt my stomach just means that I dont want to give an open show of my back to the fellow passengers. You dont have to look at me up and down, ask me (pointing to my stomach) how it is... I cant understand these code words until you tell me what it is.. Then you went on to ask how many months.. I am shocked! How can you build a story on me the very minute you saw me? When I declined, you were not accepting. How helpless I was :( You went on say how you got to know the news from someone... Seriously, some people know better of my life than I know!!

@ that very very irritating girl at office - I know its been months I saw you. I also know that I have gained those extra pounds after my wedding. I know what I need to do also. You dont have to run from one end of the cafe to where I am shouting that I look so different and unrecognizable after wedding. As if this is not enough, you tell me everyday (almost!) how its high time for me to start reducing. You start the conversation with "evlo weight pottute...." (how much weight have you gained) everytime and its so irrritating. I am a person. Not a machine to increase or decrease my weight as I like it. Please see me as what I am. My personality doesn't depend on my weight or my identity is not going to change with my weight. Also, there is something called as politeness with which you should convey whatever you think. You are being plain rude and I have no option but to reciprocate the same to you. As if you dont have anything better in your life, you saw my friend today and asked the same question?!?! I am going to ignore you - truly..

@ the neighbour aunty - I know you want to be as much helpful as you can to me. You can start a converstaion given 1 sec time. I am not that talented as you. I am a kind of person who cant make friends immediately. I am not a social bird as well. I cant engage in random conversations with you, that too when I am in a hurry to lock the house with 5.5 locks holding 2 cell phones and a heavy laptop bag rushing to the office. Just because S was drying the clothes on Saturday doesnt mean that I was bedridden and sick.  He was taking up some tasks that I hate to do. You dont have to go overboard and let me know some lady doctor details in advance. The requirement is yet to come and I am not planning for it.

Finally @ my MIL - Amma, I and your son would need sometime to adjust to our new life together. We are still immature, fighting over petty things. We still dont have the trust on us to raise a child yet. I personally cant take a big decision at this stage of my life and need some time to think over. Your acts of telling me directly or indirectly to have a baby soon is just bringing a lot of anger and irritation in me. I must say I cant help over it. You seem to tell me as if I am the only person concerned. Even if I am satisfied with all your reasoning, I cant make your son accept to what I feel. Please understand this and stop showing/giving me a million examples of couples who had it worked out in the first month. I am helpless here.

@ all who would want to poke into my life - Me not getting pregnant within an year of marriage or having gained a few pounds  are not earth shattering problems. Better concentrate on your life! Gossiping might give you happiness, but its temporary. 

Wednesday, December 28

Buying off the Groom....

Dad's close friend - whom I call Uncle A has finally settled his daughter Su's wedding. Now Su is three years elder than me and her family was trying hard to fix her wedding for the past 1.5 years. Su is a post graduate and is working in an MNC. From the beginning, marraige was not her priority. She infact fought a lot for doing Pg while her dad wanted to marry her off. Uncle A was totally against "a girl doing Pg and going for a job". He says - " It becomes so tough to find a boy from my caste who is as educated as Su and earns more than her". He doesnt stop there. He says a well educated girl will be difficult to handle and turn stubborn. If all this is not enough, he adds furthermore. I will be the one spending lakhs on her education now, but in future she will be beneficial only to her in-laws. I am not the one who is going to reap the benefits. I should spend so much on her wedding too. <I am thanking God for gifting me with a sane dad who doesn't think like this>  Su argued, fought, cried and finally found her way to continue her studies. Anyways coming back to the wedding story, Uncle A couldnt accept the thought that I was getting married much earlier while he couldnt find a suitable match for his daughter. That aggravated the search process. He had certain conditions -

  • The boy should be from the same caste, sub caste, sub division and like wise. 
  • Should be earning more than her
  • Should be equal/more in education compared to Su.
  • Should be based out in his native (Vizag) but working somewhere else
  • Should be a professional
  • Horoscopes should match perfectly
  • Should be speaking mother tongue (telugu) fluently < though his daughter cant speak a few lines in telugu    properly>
  • Should have good looks.

These are some of the conditions of any parents trying to fix an arranged wedding for their girl. But struggling in the sea of horroscopes of an year and half, that too trying to find a match from the same caste, travelling from Chennai to Vizag (20+hrs travel in train) every other week, paying lump-sum amounts to the wedding brokers for every unsuccessful match - He should have woke up!! After a very tiring process of all this, he has atlast- finally-somehow fixed a match.  I am happy for her. Or Wait.. Am I really happy? I dont think so.. I feel sorry for her and hope everything goes smooth and happy for a girl who is so good. Why Sorry one may ask.. Here are the reasons -


  • Wedding Dowry - 10lakhs (they are still bargaining), 1 lakh to be given to SIL-to-be. Totally 11lakhs.
  • Wedding Jewels for the girl - 15 sovereigns
  • Wedding Jewels for the boy - 3 sovereigns on gold bracelet, another 3 on chain and a ring for engagement     and another ring for the wedding.
  • Money exchange for the wedding clothes - Girl to be given 30K from groom's side and Boy to get 15K from Girl's side. (logic behind - GIRL = 2 * BOY)
  • Just like that - A silver plate, glass, cup and what not!
  • Wedding Arrangements - to be taken care by Girl's family - Engagement in a big hotel. Wedding in a big     hall (both in Vizag) followed by a grand reception in Chennai.
  • Others - Sets and sets of clothes to be given away to the groom and his relatives.
  • Apart from all this - A Big Bag of full of rice and like wise. Uncle should also give 2.5% of the dowry amt   (which is 25K) to the wedding broker and set of clothes to his family too.


What I really dont understand is Are they buying off the groom or getting their daughter married??!!? Uncle A has actually a long list that's been given by the boy's family which has all the above details and much more. All this happens with a family that is well educated and the guy is a professional. Doesnt he have a mind of his own to atleast tell his parents not to be so cheap? What does the girl get after all this money exchange - Happiness?? No.. If she is to be anything like me - she will end up having all guilt of making her dad debt prone which eventually will turn up into hatred towards her husband. She is a professional too and earns as much as him. Will these ppl accept if she wants to give away her salary to her dad after marriage? I dont believe so.. I cant think any further, keeping me so disturbed. Uncle A will have to spend around 35-45lakhs on this whole thing called marriage.. and he has no choice!

Monday, December 12

Uncertainity and Philosophy!

My mind doesn't seem to be peaceful at all right now. There are millions and zillions of thoughts wandering inside. I am not able to make out if I am happy or not! Some philosophy flowing in as a result.. *complete rant*
- Family values and being friendly should be taught right from childhood.
- TV is not the whole world and there can be some real people around you.
- Wasting food is no good
- Sleep deprivation can make one very angry and depressed at the same time
- Having so many people around but no one paying attention is not so good feeling
- Should consult everyone before making food choices
- People you think as family can think you otherwise.
- Not everyone will give you a helping hand at the time of need.
- Takes a lot of effort to satisfy people
- Just a moment is enough to untidy a clean room.
- Having MIL with you has zillions of benefits.
- Dont go outing when you are PMSing, it can even break your back and dont ever depend on public restrooms.
- Its your home and you need to take care of it - instead of expecting others.
- Working in the kitchen throughout the day all alone can be so depressing. 
- All you do with full dedication wont be rewarding always.
- Doing dishes is the worst ever job, that too right after eating.
- Cooking comes with a bone breaking additional task - which is doing the dishes, refer above point.
- One can only try to bring happiness in others, but it remains within the self to be happy or not.
- Worst of worst Headache can last for 3+ days, inspite of those pills you popped in
- Last but not the least, your husband is your last,best resort and will be there for you whatever it takes!!